The Great American Road Trip Was Never Intended to Include Nebraska
And other trials and tribulations from the Midwest
This entry will likely be a tad bit shorter. My week’s seen an above-average busyness with below-average free time (despite being famously unemployed), so I’ve got to make selective cuts to publish even semi on-time (for the arbitrary deadline I’ve given myself). I’ve also just popped 3 melatonin gummies (recommended dosage is 2) and am in a medically induced race against time. If this post seems loopy and incoherent towards the end (well, more than normal), that’s likely why. Let’s begin — My sleep paralysis demon gets angrier the longer I make her wait.
Special shoutout to the cut-for-time’s: Thai dinner with Lalsop and Ana, giggling with Katie Lobel, splitting a pint with Sophie Hart, seeing all of Emory Sig Chi class of 2022?? (derogatory).
This is violently not proof-read. Let’s suspend disbelief on that for today.
On to the main act.
An Ode To Group Chat Names (And In Defense of Them)
A recent, major highlight includes rejoicing and reuniting with many of the Honey Mustards this past weekend at Zoy and Niners one-year-in-the-city party. For those not in the know, the Honey Mustard Girls is my dear, dear college group chat/friend group. The title originates from our stint at the beloved Decatur, GA watering hole, The Po Boy Shop. Part cajun restaurant, part electric sports bar, The Po Boy Shop became the unofficial backdrop of my senior year of college. On any given Monday (or Tues, or Weds, etc) of second semester I could be found here with friends (or honestly alone) sipping a G&T, munching on some fries, and writing my senior theses. The girls and I would gather at this hallowed ground and order 2 baskets of fries with an EMPHASIS on a side of honey mustard. The honey mustard is SO good. The best I’ve ever had. We met the bar owner and talked to him about how good the honey mustard was. He said they made It from scratch. He would send us home with cartons of honey mustard. The waitress (Suri <3) memorized our order and would bring us copious amounts of honey mustard before we could even ask. We would fly back from post-grad trips to ATL with pockets full of this honey mustard. And alas, we were coined The Honey Mustard Girls.
Fun fact: This same venue (and same bartender!) is also how I befriend my dear pal Nick Paschetto. However, despite his pleas and subsequent appeals, he has not been made a ranking member of the Honey Mustard Girls. Apply again next year!
Anyway, It became our group chat name. And then, a natural progression, our friend group name. We call ourselves honey mustard in the third person. It’s become a defining identity, and It has endured through the ebbs of post-grad.
You may be asking yourself (if you’ve made It this far in the ramble) why the fuck I’m talking about all this. I recently saw a stupid Tik Tok of a boy (it’s always a boy) making fun of girls with friend group names. And look, I get It, friend groups can be annoying and self-obsessed and cliquey and exclusive. Let me start by saying: I promise you nobody at Emory University was jealous of our friend group or wanted to be included in It. We were annoying <3
But you know what? I love a friend group. I’m a friend group girl. I like having friends outside of my group, but I need a home base. A north star. One continually active group chat. I love hanging out with the same exact people every weekend. It brings me joy. SUE ME. I love having a crew I cherish and then slapping a name on It that makes me giggle. It’s fun and also practical: “do you wanna just text all our friends" vs. “text the Honey Mustards”….it’s EFFICIENT. Stop taking things that (traditionally) girls enjoy and minimizing It. Let us have our fucking names.
All this to say, after 7 months (yes It had been that long!!!) It was really good to see the Honey Mustard Girls!
Girlbossing big in She-Cago
Wow, I can’t believe I’m here in the city of Chicago. Why, anything can happen to a woman like me, here, in Chicago.
More Honey Mustard sightings in the Midwest! On Saturday, I packed up everything I needed for the next 4 months and flew out to Chicago to kick off my cross country trek. Hostess with the Mostess Olivia Benson (real name) let me crash with her for a few days, and even more important, steal her car for the entire winter! I met up with Soj, Hannah, and ELLIE MALONE (haven’t seen in MONTHS) and we all got dinny and drinks. Part of my master plan to force all my Chicago grad school friends to be friends with each other. Will make my bachelorette party planning a lot easier down the road (I’m violently single). We grabbed delicious sushi. Talked shit about people I didn't know (favorite hobby). Held my sister’s apartment hostage. And had an all around fantastic evening. Love you ladies.
Then I ran some errands with Olivia. Prepped for the all-American road trip. And ate an insane date cake. And then It was off to the races….
The Open Road
**I’m currently writing from Steamboat, CO but I don’t have the energy to write an entire section right now. That will be included in next week’s entry.
My tumbleweed count has hit the double digits. I’ve screamed at so many podcasts. I’ve driven in silence just to feel something. I held my friends verbally hostage for 45 minutes at a time. I’m 1200 miles in with 300 to go. Home stretch, brother.
Aesthetic ranking of the state’s I’ve driven through so far:
Colorado
Wyoming (close second)
Illinois (distant third)
Nebraska
But It has been real pretty. Visuals to follow.
And reunited with old friends in Steamboat <3 More on that next week!
For Gabe!
Quick interruption just to say that this week was the three year anniversary of a very close friend of mine passing away. We were born four days apart and basically shared a crib for the first few years of our lives. While I make a lot of off-hand dead friend jokes, he was like a brother and I miss him deeply. I think about you all the time, kid. Here are some cute photos of us.
When the Special Menu…Becomes the Standard Menu? My Weekly Media Diet (Podcast Edition)
It’s like going Keto, but with the news! Cross country drive means a focus on podcasts and audio-news sources this week. I do not have the time or emotional bandwidth to fully synthesize and comment on the pieces of media I’m consuming. But, rest assured, I have lots of thoughts brewing. Ironically, many of these podcasts were about, well, podcasts. Or rather, the role that podcasts and new-form media are filling as legacy media continues to battle for its last breath. Once again, can’t take the girl out of PR. Here are just a few pieces I opened my eardrums to:
On the Harris campaign’s PSA Exclusive: The runway could’ve been too short AND you could’ve made strategic oversights. Two things can be true at once.
On Alex Cooper’s Dealbook Interview: Alex Cooper may have been the first to really “fill the hole in the market,” but since Call Her Daddy, there has been a swell of female-targeted podcasts focusing on topics like sex and relationships, pop culture, financial literacy, sports etc. This makes sense (and is a good thing!) considering women hold most of the purchasing power in America, are a critical voting block, and have historically had their interests undermined as trivial and underserving of serious industry attention and financial investment. But, this begs the question as more and more people seem drawn to purchasing a microphone and getting a podcast off the ground, what does It take now to cut through the noise? What beat/focus/topic is missing from our podcast menu, and as more and more podcasts flood the market, how niche or eccentric are these podcasts going to need to become to stand out? OR does the power of personality prevail, and can the right person create (or even duplicate) a generic podcast mold already prominent in the market and succeed because the PERSON is drawing the crowd, not the topic (ie. Giggly Squad, CITO, etc.). Is it content, or is it brand, or is it a blend, or is it something else altogether? Genuinely curious, leave your thoughts in the comments!!!!
On Semafor’s Mixed Signals: Legacy Media is dying, but advertisers are thriving. Adapt or drown. All tech moguls are freaks!
That’s all for now.
INS AND OUTS
As some may remember, the beginning of 2024 saw my manic and incessant ins and outs lists which often served as an amplification of niche bits I was workshopping rather than any actual commentary on surging and sinking trends. But as this calendar year creeps to a close, I thought It would be full circle to revisit this art form. An abbreviated list below with current thoughts, more to come:
IN:
Inspector Gadget (Nothing gets a function on it’s feet faster. And helps you weed out the lames…all my love to recent non-participants)
The stair master (this is Guantanamo Bay level self-punishment but I’m banking on the payoff)
The Wild West (prepared to be sick of me)
Out:
Cinnamon bagels + Blueberry Cream cheese (the NYPD officer who ordered this is SOFT…no wonder hot Luigi was able to get as far as Altoona, PA).
Nebraska. Every last mile.
Spotify generated AI playlists. Inauthentic!
Since you won’t stop asking me what I’m…
…Watching
Tennis. At MSG. Ben Shelton, call me!
….Contending with
As the political tides so often do turn, it’s when you’re at the top that they want to see you fall most.
I think Drake said it best:
And the dirt that they threw on my name
Turned to soil and I grew up out it…
I've been losin' friends and findin' peace
But honestly that sound like a fair trade to me
…Playing
Men, like a fiddle.
…Harboring
Mixed emotions. And maybe a fugitive if he flashed me that smile.
So this actually wasn’t a short newsletter edition. Funny how that happens!
Wake up benson posted and mentioned the mustards
The Wild West is INNNNN